


Sedated.

by Erica



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, Drunkenness, Gen, I'm not sure what this is quite yet, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly Pre-Slash, Recreational Drug Use, bare with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erica/pseuds/Erica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey left Mike with one simple task. Which he fucked up monumentally and leaves him uncertain of his employment in Pearson Specter Litt. So, Mike thinks in for a penny in for a pound, and make another decision that finds him holed up with an old friend repeating past mistakes.</p><p>When Harvey gets back Mike isn't sure what is going to happen. He just knows it won't be good...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So this is what disaster looks like? Huh.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not Beta'd and I do not own the characters of suits (though I really wish I did).

 

Mike was almost certain that what he was about to do was a terrible idea. In fact, it was an idea that was so unbelievably terrible that he was almost certain he would have preferred that two police officers showed up right this second, and arrested him for fraud. At least that way there would be people there in the prison to stop Harvey from killing him. That was how bad his current idea was.

What is this terrible idea, you may be asking? 

Well, in order to answer that you first had to understand that Mike was in a really bad place, head-wise, and felt like utter shit.  Not only because today had been the day when his first ever big case he had to handle alone, ended horribly but it was also the day that he lost his job. 

* * *

The week had almost reached an uneventful, but extremely satisfying conclusion before everything fell apart on Wednesday evening at 5.30 p.m.

Harvey had just been about to grace Mike with a very rare and almost unheard of, early end to his day. Yes, that is right ladies and gentlemen, Harvey Reginald Specter had formed the very beginning of the phrase "Go home Mike" at 5.30 p.m. on a Wednesday (Note: not 6, not 8, not 11 p.m. but 5.30 p.m. A whole THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE OFFICE HOURS ENDED!) when his phone ringing had stopped him short. His face lost it's relaxed lines and traded in a smile for a frown when he had answered instantly Mike knew that early day was about to morph into sleeping in the office and shaving in the men's bathroom.

It turned out that Harvey's brother, Marcus, had called to say that his wife's business had run into some legal issues and they needed his help. Harvey had explained the details and, legally it didn't seem too bad, it was obvious that the man suing was hoping to scare them out of their money but unluckily for him, he had been unaware that he had just dragged New York's finest into the fight by targeting a Specter.

Even though it would probably be easy enough to sort out, it would still take a day or two to sort and would require him to leave New York. As such Harvey wouldn't be able to cover his meeting the next day with their next case.

So, Harvey had passed the case to Mike with a very simply set of instructions: "Mike, you have been doing a bang up job as of late. Don't look too excited, it just means I'm about to give you more work Rookie. Because of this, I am going to give you Anderson & Levi  to sort out. It's straight forward  enough , a simple merger with Conways, both parties are on the same page so there shouldn't be any issues. If there is? Don't call me. Don't think of me. Don't utter my name and if you fuck it up- Don't come in on Monday." Then he had smiled and left the room.

Harvey had been right too. 

It was straightforward! Both parties fully believed that they were getting exactly what they wanted out of the merger and Mike had little more to do than get them to sign on the line. The initial meeting had been fantastic! He could have argued that it was the smoothest meeting Mike had ever sat through... They were in and out of the 'negotiation' (if he could even call it that) within fifteen minutes and they had arranged to meet the next day to sign the papers. 

Mike had composed the papers, read them over twice, even got Louis to throw a quick glance over them just to be sure, and faxed it over to Conway's lawyers who had emailed to say it all looked good. Mike had done everything perfectly....and then something happened.

Mike had just gotten home and closed the door behind him when his cell phone rang loudly from his pocket. He fumbled a bit with his suit jacket to try and dislodge it from the inside pocket, because really why did these smart phones keep getting bigger? The stupid corners catch on the lining every damn time! Damn it! Eventually, he managed to get it out and to his ear before it was too late.

"Hello, Mike Ross."

"Mike, it's Aaron. Eh, Aaron Anderson." Shit. In Mike's experience with cases' going wrong, an awkward introduction usually meant that his life was about to get ten times harder. Which Mike would have guess was impossible, but hey ! Never say never, right?

"Mr.Anderson! Hi, what can I do for you?" He had said cheerfully in hopes that Aaron would feel sorry for ruining Mike's good mood and just let whatever it is he called about go.

"Mike, I'm sorry but I can't sign that merger." Yeah, that was never going to happen.

"Mr. Anderson-"

"Aaron."

"Right, Aaron. Why the sudden change? I just left you feeling happy and read to sign all of six hours ago." Mike asked, but if he was honest, he didn't overtly care about Aaron's  reasoning because he just needed him to follow through with this deal so that Mike could have a job come Monday morning.

"I know and I'm sorry. It's just, I was signing because it was the last commitment Thomas had made before he passed and when he had talked about it it sounded great! But now I don't know. This company was our whole lives! Just the two of us. Our own little world that we got to shape and now he's gone and I don' t want to let someone else in and have them try to change it. What if they get rid of all the things Thomas loved? What if it doesn't feel like it's ours anymore? I'm sorry Mike, I just can't not now...not yet." Somewhere during his confession Aaron had started to cry and suddenly Mike couldn't commit to his 'ruthless' lawyer persona he used when Harvey wasn't around to be it and instead was just Mike Ross, the orphan, who got that sometimes you're just not done grieving when the world wants you to be.

He couldn't force Aaron to change his mind. Well, he probably could. But, he wasn't going to. He wasn't going to push a man who just lost his husband into letting someone new into what was obviously his only connection left.

Fuck, he was screwed.

"Okay Aaron. I'll-" he sighed as ran his hand through his hair, contemplating just how badly everything was messed up because he wasn't willing to do his job the way he knew he should have, "I'll sort it out. Don't worry about it. I understand that you're not ready. Maybe we can arrange it so the offer isn't off the table, just pushed off for a little while?"

"Thanks." The other man sniffed, "I really appreciate it. I hope I haven't caused you too much trouble."

He had no idea...

"No, nothing too major. Goodnight Aaron, and I'm really sorry about Thomas".

"Thanks Mike. Night." And then he had hung up.

Mike had spent the next two and a half hours of his evening at home trying to salvage the relationship with Conway and their lawyers to keep the deal alive, or rather on some sort of long term life support. But in the end Fredrick Conway was pissed, as were his lawyers and Mike...Well, Mike was probably unemployed but most definitely going to get an ear full from Harvey. At least he had until Monday to try and sort something out. Maybe get Conway to change his mind? Maybe he could win another big case in the span of two days and get Harvey to forget about the world's simplest merger with one of their biggest clients that would have tripled the firms income from them? Okay- the last one was more than impossible but Mike was desperate and at this point, highly delusional . 

* * *

Mike had also forgotten that Harvey was not the only person who would be pissed at him for not getting the merger through, but he needn't have worried because come 9 am the next day,  the universe decided to remind him of that when Jessica Pearson summoned him to her office.

Mike had shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, while Jessica typed away at her computer. She had called him into her office ten minutes ago but had left him standing there in silence ever since. 

He was in trouble. That much he knew. He knew why he was in trouble. The only thing he hadn't been sure of was just  _how _ _much_   trouble he was in, but judging on this he wouldn't be surprised if she simply pulled out a belt and beat him with it for his inability to do a simple job. 

"So," she had started and Mike had finally looked up from his feet, but only slightly to nervously look at her, "do you care to tell me why it is I am not a woman who's firm has a  client  bringing in an excess of 75 million a quarter?"

Mike had thought about making a joke, but then his mind thought back to the idea of the belt and he decided against it.

"Mr. Anderson backed out and I couldn't get him to change his mind."

He watched as one of Jessica's perfectly sculpted eyebrows arched upward, "Couldn't? Or wouldn't? Which one is it Mr.Ross?"

Mike said nothing- which in turn told her everything- and she sighed.

"The Infallible Harvey Specter was finally wrong..." she paused, "You, Mike Ross, are no lawyer. Guess he placed his bet on the wrong puppy this time. Get out and don't come back until Harvey is. He brought you in, so he can sure as hell be the one to kick you out ." She finished and looked back at her screen.

* * *

 

Her words had cut into Mike more than he thought they could have. The more they played in his mind, the  worse Mike felt. It was like each time he replayed them, the words picked a little more at his scabbed wounds until they were red and raw once more.

She was right. Mike was not cut out to be a lawyer because he couldn't separate his ridiculous emotions from his work long enough to do anything successfully. Trevor had always told him it was his downfall, but also his  favourite  thing about him.

Trevor, now that was someone he hadn't thought about in a long time.

He had seen him once since everything hit the fan, when he had called to say that he had  gotten his life back on track. Apparently he had gotten a job as a computer analyst for some big IT company after he realised  that he could learn from Mike and do something more with his life. He had wanted to meet up to  apologise  over some drinks, which they did, and they had actually had a great time! But, when the night was over and Trevor had suggested they go back to his to get high, Mike  realised  that as long as Trevor was smoking Harvey would never let Mike hang out with him and Mike wasn't prepared to lie to Harvey. Not after everything he had done. 

Smoking was also something that he hadn't thought about in a while. He had started because he had needed to separate his emotions from his life after his Grammy had started getting sick when he was 17, because the reality of her aging was too much for Mike. He had done nothing but cry and panic after the first time she had fallen and Mike had only found her an hour and a half later after he got back from school. 

Trevor had started hanging out with some new kid from California who's parents let him grow his own pot and when Mike had arrived at Trevor's house one night after a close encounter with a panic attack and a successful encounter with a shoulder of vodka, Trevor had shared some with Mike as a 'less destructive and depressing as shit' alternative. 

Mike could use them now, both Trevor and the drugs,  because for the first time since meeting Harvey, Mike felt just as shit as he had all those years ago. Just as pointless and incapable. Just as scared. Trevor had always made him feel better, feel safe and when he couldn't or was being a dick, weed did a pretty good job too.

...maybe he should just call him? Harvey was going to fire him anyway when he got back on Monday and Mike would really rather not be sober for that and since Jessica had told him that he was suspended until that inevitable moment- he had nothing but time he'd rather not wallow in. 

He had pulled out his cell phone and typed in the number he had  memorised  so many years ago, then pressed call.

And that, was how Michael Patrick Ross arrived in the moment he currently found himself in.  He was about to make the worst mistake of his life and he knew it. But even though he wished he wasn't standing where he currently stood, on the front steps of Trevor's new place, he still felt as his hand knocked against the solid wood door because he might not have wanted it, but he sure as hell needed it.

* * *

 

"Mikey!" Trevor exclaimed, throwing his arms wide open to pull Mike into a hug and Mike couldn't help but relax into the embrace he knew so well. 

Trevor pulled back eventually, holding him at arms length with a big smile on his face, "I was really glad you called! Even more glad that you called on my days off! I thought you worked crazy hours as a lawyer? What has you free on a Friday at 10 a.m.?"

"Um, I kinda got in trouble at work and, um, it's kinda complicated and  I could really appreciate  blowing off some steam so I thought we could maybe relive some old days?" Mike said, holding up his hand to show Trevor the box of beers he was carrying.

Trevor's smiled widened a bit more, "How old are we talkin'?" He asked with a mischievous inflection to his town and Mike couldn't stop the flutter of excitement and nerves in his belly from exploding just like it had when they were younger and Trevor was about to get them into trouble.

"All the way back" Mike replied with a matching smirk and suddenly he felt as though no time had passed at all since he and Trevor had seen each other. It was like Pearson Specter Litt had never happened and after copious amounts of weed and alcohol Mike was hoping that feeling extended to include Harvey as well.


	2. These Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd! And these characters still aren't mine :/
> 
> NOTE: I did fix up and add a little bit into the first chapter today so if you want to feel free to re-read, if not this will still all make sense! :3

Harvey sighed as he flopped down onto the couch of his hotel room with a tumbler of scotch  that he had requested from room service. He was right to think that this guy who was suing his sister-in-law was a joke. He had no case, no real evidence but God Damn, if he was not a pain in his ass. Jack Saunders, the man's lawyer, had felt pretty confident that Harvey would settle but after meeting him, Harvey was certain the man  realised  they were walking away with nothing more than a mixed confusion of hat red  and respect for Harvey Specter not to mention, a whole heap of legal bills. 

Of course, that didn't mean that Harvey was able to clear it all up with a deposition, no. Saunder's had insisted on threatening court even though they both know he won't because, again, the man had nothing, but it did  mean that Harvey had to stay overnight and spend the rest of his day reassuring Annabell that her company was fine, they were fine and Harvey was fixing everything.

God, he could not wait to get on that flight home in a few hours...

At least it was just an annoying case rather than a difficult one; Even still, Harvey had never appreciated a loosened tie and a glass of scotch more.

He wondered vaguely how his pup was doing back in New York. He had meant what he said about Mike doing a good job lately. The kid was amazing and Harvey definitely admired him (in more ways than he would like to admit sometimes). He was probably doing fine. The merger was simple, the clients were nice and most importantly it would give Mike some brownie points from Jessica and by God the kid could use some.

Harvey gets it. Mike's lack of a degree certainly made life...complicated. But, come one, how could someone hate him? He was nothing more than a ball of optimism  and heart, plus he was smart and great at his job. Jessica would get it eventually. He was sure of it, and this case, this could be the first glimpse Jessica would get at the Mike Harvey knew.

He leaned back into the leather couch. He really did love the Rookie. He also really loved this scotch...

* * *

Mike took another inhale of smoke from the bong and held it in his lungs for a moment longer than he needed to in order to feel its heat and thickness stock his cells with its effects.

At some point he and Trevor had ordered pizza, though he couldn't remember when exactly. The pizza boy had been nice. A college student, only a few years younger than Mike with dark brown hair and even darker eyes that reminded him of Harvey's, though not quite as beautiful. He looked at Mike with a longing when the door opened and he was hit with the undoubtedly strong smell of weed and Mike had pitied him. Then the guy had opened his mouth and Mike's pity turned to frustration because he even  sounded  a bit like his boss. His amazing boss. His beautiful, amazing boss who would be so angry and hurt by the smell of weed, not jealous and now Mike was thinking about the one person he had been hoping to forget about. God damn pizza guy. What a dick. 

"- Michael !!!!" Trevor yelled, and Mike  realised  that he hadn't been paying his friend any attention for...well, a period of time, though he wasn't sure how long that period was...

"Sorry Trev', sup?" He asked and looked in the man's direction, who sat above him on the couch which meant Mike had to strain his neck backwards to look at him from his position on the floor.

"I was saying that this was good. I'm glad that we're good. I miss  the old days sometimes, you know when it was just me and you, even before Jenny." Trevor said as he looked at him through heavy eyes and Mike noted that it was a look he had seen a million times before when he and Trevor got high.

"Yeah... Me too." He wasn't too sure why he agreed, he did miss it he supposed, he definitely missed Trev' but as for the weed and...what was currently  occurring, he wasn't too sure if he missed it so much as he was sad and then made him less so while it was happening.

Right now he mostly missed Harvey. He missed his voice:  its authoritative tone and how it sent a thrill down his spine , how it could melt his heart with it's sincerity or make him laugh with its hidden humor. 

"Come here." Trevor said, breaking through Mike's train of thought about the man he could never have, and he found himself scrambling to stand up and stand in front of his friend.

Trevor smirked and pulled Mike forward by his waist until Mike ended up straddling the man in front of him.

"You were always quick to respond." Trevor said with an arrogant laugh that Mike always found slight too attractive to reflect any real healthy sexual exchange, and then leaned forward to kiss Mike's neck and any worry Mike had about revisiting this aspect of their past shattered for the moment because...yes...

"Mmm," Mike agreed tilting his neck back to give him more access and noted how much more amazing these things felt when you had THC  coursing through your veins, "You always had a way of making me want to."

Trevor continued his assault to Mike's neck with gentle kisses and stinging bites  until Mike began to forget where you drew the line between the pain and pleasure of them.

"Off." Trevor commanded again, pushing at Mike's legs and indicating for him to lay down on the couch.

"Should I?" Mike asked, waving his hand to his shirt and Trevor took a moment to consider.

 "No. Leave it. Never knew you would look so good in a shirt and tie" he replied with a wink and Mike laughed before lying back and allowing for Trevor to take his pants and underwear off.

Mike then watched as Trevor undressed himself before taking his position over Mike with arms on either side of his head, his legs between Mike's- allowing him to wrap them around his waist. 

"I almost forgot how good you looked out of your clothes Trev'" Mike said with a little laugh which  Trevor returned .

"Thanks Mike. I almost forgot how good you looked under me", he winked and Mike blushed. 

Trevor leaned down then to capture Mike's lips in his once more and Mike noted it was rather gentle. Toward the later years of their friendship/fuck-buddies-when-high, things were rarely gentle and Trevor hardly as complementary.

Not that Mike had minded! Mike had wanted nothing more than rough, angry sex that involved little more than listening to the string of barking orders that left Trevor's mouth because it complemented what both of them had wanted at the time. Mike had wanted to feel useful and good and Trevor wanted to be in charge and vent. 

It had been some seriously great sex, but they both always felt worse afterward because the illusion it lended them in moment of control, of being everything someone needed, shattered pretty quickly when they sobered and the endorphins  from their encounter faded.

This time though, everything seemed softer ( well, not  _everything_   obviously, because that wouldn't work)  but the kiss was and Trevor's hand ghosted over his skin with a lightness he wouldn't usually associate.

Trevor's hands moved out from under Mike's shirt to his tie before he gripped the knot and tightened it ever so slightly so Mike was aware of the slight pressure around his neck. Just highlighting the threat of their older encounters replaying and it was all Mike needed to feel another shot of  arousal  and arch his back upward with a moan.

"God," Trevor moaned against Mike's lips and then nipped his lower lip, "you are a kinky bastard, always loved that about you."

* * *

 

Harvey set the glass down after finishing the it. He wasn't drunk but he was slightly more merry and could definitely note the warmth that radiated from his belly. 

Shit, he never remembered to turn his cell back on after his deposition. He should probably do that, he thought pulling the device from his pocket and holding the small  metal  button at the top until the phone lit up with the apple logo.

For a second Harvey thought the day must have been pretty calm back home because his phone made no noise and then it seemed to light up like a God Damn Christmas tree with bells, as message after message from Donna flash across the screen.

"Fuck! " Harvey exclaimed before scrolling to the first one to read:

 

"God Damn it Mike!" Harvey cursed and started to type out his response.

 

Harvey started to throw his stuff into his bag and grabbed his passport before leaving the room to go wait in the lobby for his driver. Luckily, the airport was only 10 minutes from his hotel and the flight was only 30 minutes back to New York so with any luck he would be home before 11 p.m. and then he would find Mike and fix whatever mistakes he made...and everything would be fine.

Harvey just hoped the kid hadn't done something monumentally stupid that Harvey couldn't fix.

* * *

 

Mike  lay  on the couch in a post orgasmic haze while Trevor slept half on top of him. Things had become a bit more...heated after the tie move but had still remained free of the past anger and frustration, instead Trevor had  just played  with the line between pleasure and pain and Mike had  reveled  in it .

In fact, Mike would have ventured that it had done it's job in making him forget about his work screw up and Trevor's words of praise throughout their escapade had certainly itched the scratch of Mike's need for affirmation, which seriously lacked when Harvey was gone, but also when he did shit like screw up billion dollar deals because he's too much of a bleeding heart.

Well, it had worked until Mike had started thinking about the fact that it had done a good a job of making him forget...

He inched his way out slightly from underneath Trevor's body to sit up and grab the bong off the table to light it once again for a hit.

Mike took six our seven deep inhales before he noted the buzz returning with some force and the sadness that had started to make a  reappearance  shrank back once more.

Ding, Ding.

...Was Mike hearing bells? Oh, wait no, his phone. Right! Where was that...?

He shuffled around on the floor for a bit until he found were Trevor had thrown his pants and fished into the pockets to grab his phone.

Harvey. Shit. Shit, Fuck, Tits- he was screwed.

Maybe if he just didn't reply...

 

Was that even a setting? Damn it! What was he supposed to tell Harvey about how he fucked up?

God, he had really fucked up, he  realised  running his hand through his hair, which was damp with sweat from the sex he just had with his ex-dealer best friend who he told Harvey he had cut ties with, after getting extremely high both before and after the fact.   


Harvey couldn't know about this.

Mike couldn't live through watching Harvey's face crumple up into that look of disappointment  and the way he would sigh and then tell Mike  to go home...Mike's stomach tightened at the  thought of it and his eye welled with tears.

That was worse than anything else Harvey could do because that meant Harvey was sad and hurt by Mike's actions. 

If he had just waited until Harvey had come back and taken the consequences like a grown up! Sure, Harvey would have yelled, told him that being a lawyer and being a therapist/friend/ grief counselor were very different things and when would Mike figure that out. He may have even followed through on firing him, but at least he wouldn't have been hurt by Mike's actions.

Shit. Why couldn't he have thought about this earlier? Why was he still such a  screw up ?! 

His phone pinged again.

 

He had to tell him. He couldn't lie to Harvey and risk making things even worse.

 

Mike  text Harvey the address and then stood up and went into the shower to wash the smell of weed of him the best he could, alongside the sweat and other fluids left from the sex. Mike was almost certain he had never felt as gross and tiny as he felt in this moment trying to clean himself up for what would be the third worst moment of his life thus far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a little longer than I expected to get this chapter up, those text screens proved to be a bit tricky! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Comments are always welcome :) E x


	3. Don't Feed it, It will come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, not Beta'd. I still don't own suits, but I still hope you enjoy it! Things tend to get angsty before they get happy so... sorry?

Harvey really did try not to get increasingly more angry at his associate on the plane ride home but it was pretty pointless. Why did Mike have to be such a self-destructive idiot when he messed up?

Harvey sighed when the Captain announced they were making their descent into J.F.K. airport. God, he had no idea what he was going to do now...

 

Harvey locked his phone screen and slid it back into the pocket of his jeans before making his way down the steps of the plane onto the pavement where Ray was waiting. He really wished he didn't have to get in that car.

* * *

  
Mike stepped out of the shower and toweled off his hair before looking in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, but that could have been from all the crying he had done in the shower. His neck was covered in blooming bruises that traveled all the down his torso until they branched out to his hips where Trevor's fingers had drug in just a little too hard to be comfortable- but enough to be utterly delicious.

  
He had remembered a time when seeing those bruise had heated his belly in a way that made him feel wanted. Like Trevor had left him a reminder that he had been exactly what he had wanted, had needed, in that moment even if he wouldn't acknowledge it until he needed it again...  
Now though, now it felt more like his own mistakes had found a way to manifest themselves in a physical form to ensure Harvey could not ignore the giant failure that was, Mike Patrick Ross.

  
Mike turned away from the mirror. He thought about getting back into his suit but it smelt so strongly of weed that he decided against it and opted instead to go grab something from Trevor's room.

  
As he walked through the sitting room, Mike noticed as the body on the couch began to move and Trevor turned to watch Mike in a towel.

  
"Hey." Trevor said with a smile and Mike tried his best to return it but assumed it came out like more of a wince when Trevor's morphed into a frown.

  
"What's wrong? You're not...y'know, too sore? Are you?" he asked.

  
"What? No! I- Harvey text." And at that, Trevor sat up not even remotely insecure about his lack of clothing, "He's really mad...and he's coming to get me. I really fucked up here Trev." Mike's voice cracked on the final part of his confession and he felt as his eyes welled up again.

  
"Mikey..." Trevor said softly. Mike heard the sound of couch springs popping as weight shifted and suddenly Trevor stood in front of him.

  
He grasped Mike's chin and tilted it upward so that Mike looked up and the subtle half an inch of difference in their height seemed like feet. Mike wasn't sure if it was their closeness that caused the forced perspective, or if he really just felt that small.

  
Trevor wiped the tear that managed to crawl down Mike's cheek with his thumb and brushed it away.

  
"I don't think he'll forgive me this time Trev'. I'm such a mess."

  
Mike had remembered saying something similar to that right before he and Trevor ever fucked for the first time after getting high. Grammy had found weed in his room and in an shame fueled anger he had left the apartment to find Trevor. Trevor had always made him feel safe after his parents had died and Grammy's age shone through. Had made him feel wanted in some way when he felt as though he had pushed everyone else away and stood utterly alone.

Trevor leaned in to kiss Mike. The traces of any sweetness that he had found in last nights tastes was all but gone, replaced instead with the same sense of possession he had remembered folding himself into years ago.

  
Trevor pushed Mike back, his lips never leaving Mike's, until Mike's back thudded sharply against the wall and Trevor's hands worked at pinning him there.  
Mike moaned into the kiss, which had shifted now into something more feral with teeth and tongue reminding him once more that pleasure and pain could always be intertwined for bliss.

  
When Trevor finally pulled back for them to catch their breaths, Mike allowed himself to feel as the endorphins pushed their way through his system and the voice inside his head hummed with sweet words of being wanted.

  
Mike let out a yelp as he felt Trevor flip him around so his cheek pressed roughly into textured wall and a flick of his wrist released Mike's towel from around his waist.  
He felt as Trevor's nails bit into his back and his teeth worried at the spot where his shoulder met his neck until Mike tried his hardest to expose more of it to him in a silent plea for more.

  
"Always so good for me Mike." Trevor praised and Mike preened.

  
"Please Trev."

  
"Please what Mikey?" Trevor asked and Mike felt as his mouth stretched into a smile against his skin.

  
"Please. I need more." Mike begged and hoped that Trevor would give it to him. Maybe tell him he was being good for him again?

  
"I dunno Mikey... That didn't sound too sincere." Trevor announced, grinding into Mike's back before nipping sharply at his nape.

  
"Shit Trev'." Mike moaned, he had forgotten how much Trevor liked to make him beg...If Mike was honest, he had forgotten how much he enjoyed doing it.

  
"C'mon Mikey. I know you can do better." he encouraged.

  
"Please Trevor. Please, please please. I need you to do more. Make it feel really good. Make me feel- God, make me forget. I can be good, show me I can be good." Mike pleaded and he realised how much he really meant it. He just wanted some proof that he could be good enough to someone because he certainly wasn't proving it to anyone else.

  
"Good boy." Trevor said, and Mike froze. Harvey...

  
Mike couldn't do this.

  
"Trevor. Stop." he said, voice hoarse and the words jagged against his throat. Trevor fucking him was not going to make him feel better. If anything it would probably make him feel even worse because the reason he wanted to feel like he was doing good was because he wanted to be doing good for Harvey and this, this was the exact opposite.

  
Trevor did stop, and stepped back to leave Mike enough room to turn around.

  
"Mike-" he started but Mike interrupted.

  
"It's okay Trev, I just-" Mike wasn't sure what it was he was going to say but luckily he didn't have to because his phone pinged with and incoming message.

  
"I need to get that." He stated instead and Trevor nodded.

  
"I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Do you want fresh clothes?" Trevor asked.

  
"Yeah, please." Mike replied, "I know that I'm at yours, and I don't have a right to ask but-" Mike continued but Trevor cut him off,  
"Don't worry Mike. I usually go have some drinks in a place down the road on my day off, I'll go so that you won't get in anymore trouble with the infamous Harvey Specter." He laughed slightly and Mike would have thought that Trevor was hurt or angry if it wasn't for the soft smile he gave with it that reached all the way to his eyes.

  
"Thanks Trev. Maybe, when this is over we can hang out again, sans pot?"

  
"And sex." Trevor laughed again and Mike joined in.

  
"Yeah, that would probably be a smart decision too."

  
"First one we'll ever make." And just like that the heaviness between them dissipated, "I hope we get too. I was having a good time even without the sex and drugs. Though the do make everything infinitely more enjoyable." With that comment, Trevor left for his room.

  
Mike finally picked up his phone, expecting to see Harvey's name but not overly surprised to read Donna's.

  


  
He asked himself the same question all the time.

  
It was a lame reply and Mike knew it but he didn't know what else to say.

  
   
She was right. Well, she was Donna and those things were mutually exclusive, he was almost certain of that.

* * *

  
Trevor left after his shower and Mike had finally gotten dressed into some over-sized sweatpants which slung low on his hips, and an old t-shirt of Trevor's that fit him somewhat more decently.

  
He had then tried to tidy up the place a little bit, he put away the bong and remaining pot and threw out the empty cans of beers that they had let litter the floor.  
Eventually the place looked somewhat presentable, not that Harvey would probably set foot in the place but Mike wanted to make sure that if he did Mike's decision to break his trust didn't stand out so obviously.

  
Harvey had text as Mike finished tidying to say that his flight had landed and that he would be there in 20 minutes.

  
Mike kind of wished there had been more to clean because now he would just have to sit idly, contemplating exactly what he had done until Harvey arrived.

  
Mike didn't believe in Hell but if he did, he was almost certain that this was what it was comprised of.

* * *

  
Harvey drew in a breath as Ray pulled up outside of Trevor's address. Harvey had to say it was a nice place. A brownstone that screamed success from the outside but Harvey knew all too well that appearances could be deceiving. You wouldn't think walking by that two twenty six year old's were in there more than likely getting high and screwing up their lives, but alas...

  
"Thanks Ray." Harvey murmured and looked as Ray gave a sympathetic smile.

  
"Do you want me to wait?" He asked and Harvey thought about it for a second before shaking his head no,

  
"No, thanks. I think I'll just get a cab, or maybe walk. I might need the air." and with that he exited the car and walked up the front steps of the place before knocking.

* * *

 

Okay, Mike knows that he heard the knock on the door. Mike knows that he knows, it's Harvey. Mike even knows, that he knows, that Harvey knows Mike knows, it's Harvey...  
Mike does not want to answer the door.

  
"Michael, open up." He heard, accompanied by another knock.

  
Okay, it was now or never and never wasn't an option, which left only now...Okay...Shit...

  
Mike got up and walked toward the front door like he was walking toward the gallows and felt as his hand hit the metal knob before he twisted it and met his executioner.

  
"Harvey." was all he managed to say though his mind was yelling things like, 'sorry' and 'I know I fucked up', but his mouth refused to co-operate and he was trying his best not to cry or get sick.

  
"Can I come in?" Harvey asked.

  
"Oh! Do-do you want to?" Mike stuttered and Harvey questioned if he actually did in fact want to.

  
He had expected to be hit with a wave of anger when he say Mike. Anger over his inability to do his damn job. Anger over his decision to call Trevor. Anger at his betrayal and idiocy for smoking weed, which he had obviously done because his eyes were still blown slightly and rimmed with red.

  
What he hadn't expected was for that anger to be followed by hurt...Or by the lick of jealousy at the sight of the obvious hickeys and bite marks that littered his exposed skin. No, he had not been expecting them and found himself with an urgent need to sit down and regain his footing and deal with the real matter at hand: Mike's inability to not screw up.

 

"Yes." He finally answered, maybe a bit too tersely if Mike's winced reaction was anything to go by.

  
Harvey followed Mike into the sitting room which smelt strongly of an artificial scent he was sure Mike had sprayed around to try and cover the smell of weed and Harvey felt his anger flare again.

  
"You can, um sit?" Mike said uncertainly and Harvey arched a brow before sitting on the couch.

  
"Do you want coffee or...like, a tea?"

  
"No. Sit." Harvey ordered and Mike hastily obeyed, taking the armchair closest to Harvey.

  
They sat in a tense silence for what felt like hours but in reality was probably three minutes.

  
Mike hated how uncomfortable he felt. Harvey wasn't supposed to make him feel uncomfortable. Harvey was meant to make him feel, happy and good and useful and worth something.

  
Maybe he should speak first? Is that what Harvey wanted? Maybe he was waiting for an apology? God, Mike hadn't even apologised.

  
"Harvey-" He started and felt the weight of Harvey's full stare land on him. He swallowed thickly and tried again, "Harvey, I'm sorry."

  
"Sorry for what Mike?" Harvey asked in an even tone that he only ever used with people like Tanner, or Hardmen...with people he didn't trust and Mike felt his heartache with the knowledge that it was being used with him.

  
"Everything?" he tired and watched Harvey's eyes spark with annoyance.

  
"Not good enough." Harvey stated flatly and Mike wished he could start it over because he was right.

  
"I'm sorry for screwing up the merger. I'm sorry for not being able to separate my stupid emotions from... anything! I'm sorry for calling Trevor because I knew that he still got high and..."

  
"And what Mike?!" Okay, Harvey's masked anger was no longer masked but showing itself clearly in his features and Mike felt his own starting to bubble beneath the surface.

  
All he had tried to do was be good enough for Harvey and he had told him not to call if he got into trouble in the merger! He was the one who told him if he fucked up to fuck off and you know what? Mike wouldn't have felt so shit if Harvey hadn't made him feel like he would lose everything if he messed up. If he had been there on the other end of the line to tell Mike that Jessica was wrong when she said he wasn't a lawyer! He was just as guilty as Mike in the shitty friend category.

  
"I'm sorry I did it Harvey! Okay?! I get it! I shouldn't have done it, but you made me feel like I was losing everything if I lost this case and you left me alone to deal with it all!"

  
"Left you with what? A simple merger? Of course I left you alone with that! You're a god damn lawyer Mike! All you had to do was your damn job!" Harvey stood up and Mike followed suit until they reached toe to toe.

  
Mike knew he was supposed to be apologising but in this exact moment, apologising was the last damn thing on his mind.

  
"Well I couldn't and you left me with no way to figure out how to fix it because you told me not to call!And then Jessica all but fired me on the spot! So, yeah I called Trevor and I got high because that's what I've always done when I realise I'm alone! I'm always left god damn alone and Trevor is the only one who doesn't tell me not to call, or tells me he's too busy! And believe it or not Mister 'I refuse to have emotions' -not all of us are graced with it naturally and weed does a pretty sweet job of fixing that!" Mike finished yelling with ragged breaths and for a moment he wondered if Harvey was going to hit him.

  
"Did you sleep with him?" he asked, his voice hovering just above a whisper. Mike was taken aback by the question. He had certainly not expected that.

  
"Yes." he replied and noted that whatever heat had been boiling his blood had suddenly dissipated.

  
Harvey turned away from him then and walked in the direction of the kitchen.

  
Mike wasn't sure if he should follow, so he stood still instead.

* * *

Harvey leaned himself over the edge of the sink, feeling the cool metal chilling his heated flesh. He didn't know why he had asked Mike that god damn question. (Though he knew that was a lie- he did know).

  
He was meant to be fueling his anger with Mike's inability to not get high or do his damn job but now- now his mind supplied him with images of Trevor's hands raking over his associates body and leaving marks of teeth to be seen even when they were separated.

  
Harvey hadn't expected that knowledge to twist in his gut more than the fact that Mike had simultaneously lost the firm billions and gotten them both in hot water with Jessica.  
But, it did and the response was unexpected. Harvey did not do unexpected emotion.

  
Taking a deep breath he straightened. He would deal with the drugs first, then the deal and then, well then he would blatantly ignore the fact that Mike had slept with his ex-dealer/best friend and managed to shift Harvey's feelings from (somewhat) platonic to...not so much.

  
Okay! A plan. Harvey liked plans, and with that he walked back into the sitting-room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope You all enjoyed! Feel free to leave a comment :) Also, the title of the chapters and the name of the fic are from songs off Hozier's album, 'From Eden', he is an amazing artist so do check them out x E

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! The second part should be up tomorrow and I'm not planning on this exceeding 5 chapters so it should, hopefully, be completed in about two weeks time. I'm still not 100% certain on everything for this, but I am enjoying finding out where this plot bunny is leading me. Comments are always appreciated :) Erica x


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